So recently I have had a dilemma which seems unimportant, but to me is essential to motivation and effectiveness. It's called Gym Membership Renewal. Having got what I considered to be a pretty good deal on my membership last year, with it being half price if I paid the year in advance, I then received the renewal letter a few weeks ago, that was clearly on a different level of payment. It was £312 for the whole year or £35.99 a month (my deal last year effectively meant it was about £15 a month). Then there came my 'I'm so smart I can negotiate my way to a cheaper deal' attitude, only to learn after a few calls and 4 emails that the gym were not going to be swayed on price. It was what it was, and I can only assume business must be thriving, because they made no attempt to meet me even a quarter of the way or listen to my concerns. Now that in itself says something about a business, so I thought forget it, I won't be renewing this year.
Well a couple of weeks has gone by and now I realise that I have been truly beaten. I need the gym. I am currently crawling on my knees back to the gym, apologising profusely as if I have just ditched a woman who was way out of my league to begin with, and now realised my heinous errors. Ok so it was worth a try to see if they would budge on price, but the reality is without the gym I revert to being an unmotivated idler, who can't make up his mind what to do. And yes I know there are other ways to get fit other than the gym, but I am not that inspired by running round outside. I have done it before (especially when training for a 10K) but as a way to keep fit, I like the machines, the weights, the mats and the variety. I'm good at getting up to go to the gym before work, mix up my exercises and feel ready and alert for the day.
Now there will be an extra £35.99 coming out of my bank account every month to keep doing what I have been doing for the past year. It's a tricky thing how you way up weigh up whether to pay for something or not, especially something that will make a notch on the bank account. If you can find a way to get the same results another way then great, but what if what you have been doing works? That's hard to walk away from, which is the position I find myself in.
In the end it comes down to what Jim Rohn brilliantly describes as the difference between cost and value. Many things can cost the same but they can have completely different values. For example, you can buy the classic book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill for under a tenner. The ideas written in this book though can be life changing and incredibly valuable. For the same money you can also buy a meal at Burger King. Now I am a sucker for fast food, but even I can see it has little or no perceived value at all (to us fortunate folk in the first world anyway). In fact, it perhaps has detrimental value. So many things can have vast differences between cost and value, and this is how I have to look at my gym membership. It may cost £35.99 a month, but I have to make sure that the value I attain from this is worth much more. You cannot put a price on health and productivity. I am totally convinced that regular exercise is as good for your mind as it is your body. You become motivated, effective, productive and all those other positive personal developments effects, as well as a massive increase in your self esteem.
The 'experts' have stated that you need 3 periods of good exercise a week to stay healthy, but I will tell you what happens in real terms, completely free of scientific evidence, when you do and don't achieve this.
Think of each time' as a 45 minute period:
0-1 times exercise a week - Put on weight, lose fitness
2 times a week - You stay pretty much as you are
3 times a week - You lose weight, get fit and improve your general physique
People go to the gym more I know, but 3 times a week is what you need to do. LL Cool J has muscles I would not wish for and he always stated he went to the gym 4 times a week, so I'm happy with 3.
Therefore, with tail firmly between my legs, I have caved in to the highly increased Gym Membership. But as investing money in yourself goes, it's up there with the best money you can spend. Knowing I will not be sat at home being completely indecisive about going for the run I do not want to do, and can get back my energy and motivation levels, is good enough reason for me to feel good about caving into to the new membership scheme.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
The Fantasy of getting Something you haven't Earned.
Sometimes you can find inspiring quotes and motivation in the most unlikeliest of places. I am one who seeks wisdom in philosophy, self-development, spiritual and history books, but I am not above capturing something that ticks my box of interest within my head unexpectedly. For instance, I was watching The Voice UK last week (hey it’s ok while it’s at the spinning chairs stage!) and heard the following quote by Danny O’Donoghue:
“You don’t get anywhere from being handed something. You get to places from getting knocked down and getting back up again.”
Although it may seem a simple quote on the face of it, for me it completely summed up the idea of trying to get something for nothing. The summation being that it is a complete fantasy to think we ever get anything we do not earn. Millions of people lead lives hoping that some magic twist of fate will save them from their low self-esteem and complete lack of faith in their own abilities, and bring about a fortune that will solve their life’s troubles. But unfortunately it is not going to happen, I’m sorry. Either you get better, or life will not get better.
I know the obvious counter argument to this as well; the people who may have stumbled into a fortune or won the National Lottery. People love to buy into the idea that they could be the lucky person that wins the lottery, perhaps unaware of the fact that you are statistically more likely to die while watching the lottery, than actually winning it. But even winning the lottery will only change the financial aspect of your life. Real growth comes from dedicated and committed self development, the reading and application of great ideas that help you become more valuable as a human being. Being handed something or stumbling into a fortune does not achieve this.
Society is addicted to the idea of getting something for nothing, or hoping that luck will someday shine on them. That is why in the UK there are gambling shops everywhere and even more advertising of online gambling sites than ever before. People are spending money, not on investing in their own growth (which would be a much better choice) but by hoping their luck will change. We are all guilty of it, of course I have played the Lottery in the past, and whilst I choose not to play anymore, I completely understand the excitement of watching the numbers come through, hoping that some kind of magic is about to happen in your life.
The sad truth is though, believing in getting something without earning it, in fact makes you weaker and less likely to become successful. Say for instance I have £200 and offer to split it between 2 people. For the first person though I simply give them £100, and for the other person I make them do a day’s work before giving them their £100. I have in fact made the person I handed the £100 to weaker. Simply because the 2nd person will learn that they have to work and act before receiving the pay off, whereas the first person will believe that no action is required, before achieving what he or she wants. People can remain like this their whole lives.
What people don’t like to hear is that it takes time and a lot of perseverance to reap the real rewards of personal growth. Danny O’Donoghue’s band The Script took 7 years after forming to release their major record label debut album. It came about not by having anything handed to them, but by working hard, keeping going and never giving up, even after being knocked down. Therefore, a person and band well placed to gain some inspiration from when it comes to success.
“You don’t get anywhere from being handed something. You get to places from getting knocked down and getting back up again.”
Although it may seem a simple quote on the face of it, for me it completely summed up the idea of trying to get something for nothing. The summation being that it is a complete fantasy to think we ever get anything we do not earn. Millions of people lead lives hoping that some magic twist of fate will save them from their low self-esteem and complete lack of faith in their own abilities, and bring about a fortune that will solve their life’s troubles. But unfortunately it is not going to happen, I’m sorry. Either you get better, or life will not get better.
I know the obvious counter argument to this as well; the people who may have stumbled into a fortune or won the National Lottery. People love to buy into the idea that they could be the lucky person that wins the lottery, perhaps unaware of the fact that you are statistically more likely to die while watching the lottery, than actually winning it. But even winning the lottery will only change the financial aspect of your life. Real growth comes from dedicated and committed self development, the reading and application of great ideas that help you become more valuable as a human being. Being handed something or stumbling into a fortune does not achieve this.
Society is addicted to the idea of getting something for nothing, or hoping that luck will someday shine on them. That is why in the UK there are gambling shops everywhere and even more advertising of online gambling sites than ever before. People are spending money, not on investing in their own growth (which would be a much better choice) but by hoping their luck will change. We are all guilty of it, of course I have played the Lottery in the past, and whilst I choose not to play anymore, I completely understand the excitement of watching the numbers come through, hoping that some kind of magic is about to happen in your life.
The sad truth is though, believing in getting something without earning it, in fact makes you weaker and less likely to become successful. Say for instance I have £200 and offer to split it between 2 people. For the first person though I simply give them £100, and for the other person I make them do a day’s work before giving them their £100. I have in fact made the person I handed the £100 to weaker. Simply because the 2nd person will learn that they have to work and act before receiving the pay off, whereas the first person will believe that no action is required, before achieving what he or she wants. People can remain like this their whole lives.
What people don’t like to hear is that it takes time and a lot of perseverance to reap the real rewards of personal growth. Danny O’Donoghue’s band The Script took 7 years after forming to release their major record label debut album. It came about not by having anything handed to them, but by working hard, keeping going and never giving up, even after being knocked down. Therefore, a person and band well placed to gain some inspiration from when it comes to success.
Monday, April 15, 2013
How badly do you want it?
Staying with my goals theme from yesterday, I'm delighted that my blog sparked a lot of debate amongst my friends on facebook, but hey let's direct some comments and conversations on this page! It's all about comments and views people!
Only kidding of course, though seriously do post comments here. So how do we accomplish any goals we set? I am convinced that the simple answer is how badly you want it. Or how much do you need to have it? It's a massive shame Jim Rohn is dead, but at least he cannot do me for plagiarising his work as I am about to do again. You see like with many other things, no one has made it more obvious to me how we either get things done or we don't than jim Rohn. It is simply need. How much do you need it, or want it? On his excellent CD 'Cultivating an Unshakable Character' he states, "There is a big difference between wanting to, and needing to. You may want to speak a foreign language but may get nowhere, however if you needed to learn a foreign language to get a relative out of a foreign jail, I bet you would do it". And he's right. People can do all kinds of things if they need to. Therefore, the best motivation for achieving any goal or dream is to have a real need, a real reason to do it.
Looking back at my goals yesterday, what reason could I give for some of my goals? To speak Polish for instance? Well my wife is Polish and it would mean the absolute world to me if I could speak on a fluent level with her Mother and family when I am in Poland. What about to speak French? Well because I would love to go travelling round France and the French countryside one day, soaking up the culture and taking many photographs along the way. There are many other reasons of course, but the important thing is that you give yourself a reason to want to accomplish it. Write down the goal and keep the end result in mind, no matter how long it takes. Not giving yourself a reason to achieve a goal, is like opening a dating site for nuns, it isn't going to work.
It is also why I think it is very important to write down a list of goals, but then to also work out which are your absolute top goals you would like to achieve. You cannot have a huge list of goals and have the same motivation to achieve them all. Take for example a young singer or sportsperson - their goal is pretty simple, to become either a famous singer or successful sportsperson. They may also have a goal to be a more organised person, but I doubt it motivates them like their big dream does.
Therefore, keep the goal list low and the reasons for them high. That is what I believe is the way to accomplish them.
Only kidding of course, though seriously do post comments here. So how do we accomplish any goals we set? I am convinced that the simple answer is how badly you want it. Or how much do you need to have it? It's a massive shame Jim Rohn is dead, but at least he cannot do me for plagiarising his work as I am about to do again. You see like with many other things, no one has made it more obvious to me how we either get things done or we don't than jim Rohn. It is simply need. How much do you need it, or want it? On his excellent CD 'Cultivating an Unshakable Character' he states, "There is a big difference between wanting to, and needing to. You may want to speak a foreign language but may get nowhere, however if you needed to learn a foreign language to get a relative out of a foreign jail, I bet you would do it". And he's right. People can do all kinds of things if they need to. Therefore, the best motivation for achieving any goal or dream is to have a real need, a real reason to do it.
Looking back at my goals yesterday, what reason could I give for some of my goals? To speak Polish for instance? Well my wife is Polish and it would mean the absolute world to me if I could speak on a fluent level with her Mother and family when I am in Poland. What about to speak French? Well because I would love to go travelling round France and the French countryside one day, soaking up the culture and taking many photographs along the way. There are many other reasons of course, but the important thing is that you give yourself a reason to want to accomplish it. Write down the goal and keep the end result in mind, no matter how long it takes. Not giving yourself a reason to achieve a goal, is like opening a dating site for nuns, it isn't going to work.
It is also why I think it is very important to write down a list of goals, but then to also work out which are your absolute top goals you would like to achieve. You cannot have a huge list of goals and have the same motivation to achieve them all. Take for example a young singer or sportsperson - their goal is pretty simple, to become either a famous singer or successful sportsperson. They may also have a goal to be a more organised person, but I doubt it motivates them like their big dream does.
Therefore, keep the goal list low and the reasons for them high. That is what I believe is the way to accomplish them.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
In the Beginning there were 10 Goals.
The Art of Self Development, my brand new blog that I have felt compelled to create. The idea of a self development blog has been in my head for a while, but I have always made excuses not to do it. Mainly along the lines of 'Why should anyone want to believe what I say?' or 'Shouldn't you be a millionaire first?'. However, having studied success philosophy for a number of years now, I want to put out and discuss some of the ideas I have come across along the way, that I believe lead to a happier, more successful life.
One of the things I find hard to get my head round when looking at self development authors, is their background. Are they telling us all they really could? Did they suffer much and were driven, or did they get a lucky break along the way? This is one of the reasons I created this blog, for the very reason that I am not a 'career success'. I earn roughly the average person's salary per year, and though that is a respectable amount to many people, it is barely enough to cover my mortgage and all the costs of living that go with it. The career is only one aspect of success of course. I do consider myself a domestic success, having married last year and being happily married at that. There are many types of success to consider, but what we should be continually aiming for is not the money, but the happiness and joy we aim to derive from life, for surely that is the simple reason we do most of what we do? So this self development is a journey with myself, whilst also giving out all I can to any readers I am lucky to get, all the wisdom and ideas I learn along the way.
So, based on the fact there is much I want to accomplish in life and that I consider my own self development journey only really just beginning, I have listed 10 things below, I would like to become. Now, setting goals is a topic I could discuss all day, such as do we need them, and why do nearly all authors insist we will get nowhere unless we have them? However, I will save that discussion for another blog post. In the interest of kicking off this blog, and to keep it a simple exercise, here are 10 goals I have for life (and no they are not in any particular order):
To speak Polish
To speak French
To be a professional photographer or writer
To eat a healthy diet and not be afraid to try new foods
To be more organised
To be more pro active
To read at least 1 hour a day and apply what I learn
To be a better businessman
To be tidier and cleaner
To have a new TV
Ok, so the last one looks a bit materialistic and silly, but I am truly am disappointed with the TV I bought last year. I made the mistake of buying it straight from the net, basing my decision on good reviews. Anyway, months later now and I've decided I really don't like it. The brightness control especially is pathetic, can't adjust it to any level I like. So yes I want to 'earn' a new TV.
But you will notice that most of the goals are about becoming something. Simply because the real value of success is the person you become along the way. Jim Rohn was all over this one - "The greatest value of becoming a millionaire is not the million dollars you have, but the person you have to become to achieve that". I completely get that. All you have at the end of the day is yourself, that is why The Art of Self Development is all about what you become, not what you achieve.
One of the things I find hard to get my head round when looking at self development authors, is their background. Are they telling us all they really could? Did they suffer much and were driven, or did they get a lucky break along the way? This is one of the reasons I created this blog, for the very reason that I am not a 'career success'. I earn roughly the average person's salary per year, and though that is a respectable amount to many people, it is barely enough to cover my mortgage and all the costs of living that go with it. The career is only one aspect of success of course. I do consider myself a domestic success, having married last year and being happily married at that. There are many types of success to consider, but what we should be continually aiming for is not the money, but the happiness and joy we aim to derive from life, for surely that is the simple reason we do most of what we do? So this self development is a journey with myself, whilst also giving out all I can to any readers I am lucky to get, all the wisdom and ideas I learn along the way.
So, based on the fact there is much I want to accomplish in life and that I consider my own self development journey only really just beginning, I have listed 10 things below, I would like to become. Now, setting goals is a topic I could discuss all day, such as do we need them, and why do nearly all authors insist we will get nowhere unless we have them? However, I will save that discussion for another blog post. In the interest of kicking off this blog, and to keep it a simple exercise, here are 10 goals I have for life (and no they are not in any particular order):
To speak Polish
To speak French
To be a professional photographer or writer
To eat a healthy diet and not be afraid to try new foods
To be more organised
To be more pro active
To read at least 1 hour a day and apply what I learn
To be a better businessman
To be tidier and cleaner
To have a new TV
Ok, so the last one looks a bit materialistic and silly, but I am truly am disappointed with the TV I bought last year. I made the mistake of buying it straight from the net, basing my decision on good reviews. Anyway, months later now and I've decided I really don't like it. The brightness control especially is pathetic, can't adjust it to any level I like. So yes I want to 'earn' a new TV.
But you will notice that most of the goals are about becoming something. Simply because the real value of success is the person you become along the way. Jim Rohn was all over this one - "The greatest value of becoming a millionaire is not the million dollars you have, but the person you have to become to achieve that". I completely get that. All you have at the end of the day is yourself, that is why The Art of Self Development is all about what you become, not what you achieve.
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